Lonely

Another Christmas goes by as I sit alone, single, and deprived of a companion to share my warmth with. It has gotten some what bad. There's this 17 year old chick that I cuddled with the other day. Six years apart is a huge gap. It's not illegal to do anything with her in Florida which is good but morally it's kicking me in the ass. I don't know if I should be doing it or not. I don't even really want to do it with her, I just want somebody to cuddle with and what not. Unfortunately the two things usually come as a pair, especially for younger audiences. I am starting my third year now that I am single since the whole Mary thing. I thank what ever god is up there that I am over that now.

I just sent out some emails to various ladies on the internet via Craigslist. I don't know if that was a good or bad thing to do but ya know what.... it can't hurt at all. I also put a ad up on there. This would be the 2nd ad I put up. The first one was really long and gave a big description of me but this one is short and sweet. The last one received zero responses. Not cool at all. Hopefully something comes out of that.

I just re-insured my Bus so I think I am going to get a muffler for it soon and start driving that thing around as my daily driver. It's not the best thing to drive around but it's starting to look better than my Jetta. The Jetta has a lot of work that has to be done on it right now. A decent amount of upgrades, clean ups, and fixes that I am going to try and work out before I head off to work again on the 3rd/6th of January. I don't think I am going to get it all done but hopefully most of it will be done, at least the big things.

I am in debt.... both with some credit card debt and with my dad still. I messed up big time here but I have a plan to fix it all. Another one of Caleb's genius plans. Hopefully it will work out. It's actually a revision to my previous plan to make T-Shirts. My problem before was actually making the shirts. It took a hell of a lot of time to make just one shirt and the process wasn't the best way to mass produce shirts. I looked up online how much simple silk screening was for 1-3 color shirts and it's about the same price as I was getting for making them myself. Also they are silk screened so the quality is better. Wewt. I am going to set off for a batch of 60-70 shirts and then sell those. My first design should sell decently and I should make money fairly quickly with the first batch. Once those are sold to the point where I have made my money back from the initial investment I am going to purchase another 60 except of a different design. Right now I have about four finished designs. Unfortunately I don't think all of them are going to sell very well. I am going to start making some more funny designs soon and hopefully they will be done and ready for the second and third batch of shirts. That's the plan at least. This should provide a decent amount of income, not take up to much time, and be fairly fun to do, not to mention free shirts for me.

Right now I'm up in Mass. for Christmas break. Even though this is supposed to be a fun time and I am supposed to be happy that I am with family I'm not really all that happy. All of my cousins, ages 23, 21, and 15, all have significant others right now. That is beating me in the face every day as I listen to my Aunt's dogs snore when they sleep. My brother keeps playing games a lot and it seems like he is controlling of the game system. I don't mind to much as it is just games and what not and I understand that that is him. It just gets annoying every once in a while.

Right now I just feel depressed. I don't really know what I am doing with my life. I got my AA this semester... but it still feels like I am going no where. I think the big thing is the fact that I don't have a girlfriend. My car is fast and fun, my schooling is going decent, my job is great, but I just feel empty. I come home, do the same crap every day, and nothing really changes. The highlight of the past month or two I would say could be said with two events. I talked to some chick on the mono rail at the airport near Thanksgiving and she seemed interested in me and I got to cuddle with a 17 year old a few days ago. Those would be my highlights. I don't think that my car hitting a certain speed as a highlight or that I got my AA. I guess it's just a happiness thing and it is very depressing right now to see so many people together and yet I have such a hard time.

Enough of my rambling. I should be getting to bed. See ya.