Depressed

I've been pretty depressed lately. It's a combination of a lot of things I think. Between the cars not working, lack of money, feeling of segregation from the VW group I hang out with, lack of a girlfriend for two to three years, and work throwing me around like a frequently used cunt rag it's starting to take a drain on me.

Hopefully in the next few weeks my cars will be up and running. It's going to take more money which will hurt that situation but at least I'll have my car or cars going. I don't really know what's up with the group. I just feel like they have been turning on me. I've been feeling like this for a while. Maybe it's all in my head, maybe it's not. I'm not really sure but it sure does annoy me and it makes me sad. :(

The lack of a girlfriend thing is just a nat that picks at me every time I go out with people since most everybody else has some sort of significant other. It makes me want to jump out of my bus's rear door as it maxes out doing 75mph on the highway. Maybe a semi passing me will run me over.

The work thing is starting to get more and more annoying. They scheduled me for the next three weeks with working two days and getting like ten hours. I've been getting around 20 to 30 hours a week so.... why did they do this? Because Caleb is the way to nice guy that picks up everybody's shift when they can't do theirs and does all the stuff that people don't want to do. So.... instead of giving me a schedule so that I can plan crap, they give me crap hours and hope that I'll just wait around for them. That's what you get for being to nice. You get shit on. Like usual. Wouldn't be the first time.

I've been playing WoW a lot more lately. Maybe it's to take my mind off of my depression. I've also been watching House a lot. So far up to season four. I need to check if I'll be caught up or not.

I've got a Calculus Two test this Thursday that I haven't studied much for and for some reason I couldn't get to sleep tonight and I have work at 9am. Today is going to be really sucky and it's going to put me more behind because of my lack of discipline. I could blame it on the depression lately but what's the fun in that. Excuses are lame. I'm just lazy I guess.